SERENDIPITY SANCTUARY

  WHO I AM TODAY! At the age of 86, I am very contented.  Very contented with my size.    For almost 50 years I withstood and overcame 'discrimination of size' within both my family as well as the world around me.   I became passionate about learning what to do in order to deal with that discrimination shown towards me, so I took copious notes of what I was learning along the way.    How was I to know that there would come a time when I in turn could become the mentor of other large and plus size women.  Not only in my own city, not only in my own country, but throughout the world.  Those notes became the foundation of my motivational books, and in turn the basis of my naîve love stories. The joy of writing my newsletters particularly on a monthly and quite often bi-monthly regularity, and receiving thousands of emails from women who lived in countries far and wide from my small office, gave me the incentive to do more.   The newsletters...

 

  Weighing up the consequences! There's no doubt I'm one of those people who has had said about them   “she's a late bloomer!” Whether that's a good or a bad thing, I can't say. What I can say however is I have learned lessons every step of the way.  I've been buffeted around by circumstances and by people.  I've been walked on, put “down”, over-looked, ignored, berated, discriminated against, jostled about, pushed out of the way.  I've had to pick myself up and dust myself down so many times I’ve lost count.  I've been humiliated and embarrassed; ridiculed and treated as one BIG joke.                                    But you know what, the laugh is on me. For I've grown.  In stature, and in confidence.  I can look other big people who are suffering from discrimination right in the eye and say: ”I know where you're ...

  What's next? It's a very interesting journey, this “trying to find yourself” . More especially when you try to find the real person hidden under that camouflage that people call “excess weight ” or “obesity ”. Mind you, those two descriptions are now included in my bag of unwanted words, and I do my best to ignore them. Yet I've used them here, because many women will still be hearing these words said about them, and even if they are honest, sometimes will even say them against and about themselves. We must not be unkind to the essence of our womanhood - the real person inside. We can even learn to look at ourselves as a landscape painting - foreground, background and every cuddly bit in between! There's quite enough discrimination and negativity out there in the world against people of size, without us adding weight to the problem!  Excuse the pun, but that's what it is. The world, in spite of all the anger and hostility and ridicule and ignorance displayed by ot...

Something Really Dramatic I’d been admiring the beautiful manicures of many women for some time and this was another area where I had convinced myself that because of my size I wasn’t worth being “indulged ” in such a way. What foolishness. It was time for me to take stock of the situation and either slip back into believing I was of not much value, or else steadily striving forward and doing everything possible to no only enhance my body to my best ability but to do things that would please me, To no longer take notice of people who would say “don’t be silly ” or “ don’t bother ”, but simply because I felt it was about time I saw myself as I truly am, I focussed on expanding my confidence. That included my appearance and more especially my “feelings” about myself. My hands and feet are no longer young. They’ve changed somewhat over the years. Perhaps my hands show signs of neglect over the years, but they are an essential part of me and need to be pampered a little as well. The same ...

rose in bloom - What about my Face?  My Hair?    Well, I chose a day when I felt a little less stressed and insecure than normal, and visited a counter at one of the leading departmental stores, and asked to have a makeover. Certainly, madam. With your complexion we can do a lot for you. Gee, thanks. I know it will cost money, but I'm looking at this as a start of a journey.  My face hasn't changed shape. It's still round and plump. It's still the same as it has been for a number of years, with the slight exception that its got a few more wrinkles, and of course the skin has lost a lot of its elasticity, and there are some little things which need hiding. But these girls are supposed to be trained in these things, and perhaps I'll learn something I can put into practice for myself.  First cleansing. Gee, that feels great. Then a little moisturiser. Wonderful. Now sit back and allow us to give you the treatment. What we suggest is ................. She dabs ...

First of all my wardrobe ...  Now that I was no longer tied to preconceived ideas of what I should eat, what I shouldn't eat, how I should dress, and what I should or shouldn't wear, I decided to try out some new ideas.  I gathered all my courage, and visited a Colour Consultant. You may know them by many names, but they are women trained to advise you on the most attractive colours you can wear.   Colours which compliment your colouring and your features.  This includes makeup, and the colour of your hair as well as clothes. Following my visit I was so hyped up with the excitement of seeing just what effect colours had on my moods, my feelings, and my looks, that I started experimenting immediately.   I'm still experimenting, every day.  As a fat person, I'd always been led to believe that I should only wear black (or navy blue, or chocolate brown or even beige). It had to be a colour that was considered “safe” and “slimming ”. Don't believe people w...

I've chosen to now disregard entirely the word “diet”!  It's a negative word, and it's a word that conjures up all sorts of horrendous “go-withouts!” It's a word that shouldn't be used to, or about, fat people. There are many other words to describe healthy eating habits in a far nicer and less rigid way, and we should insist the word “diet” as such be removed from our vocabulary. It's a word which gives a “defeatist” meaning.  Anyway, the word “diet” does not in reality mean a list of foods that restricts our eating. It means the life-style we live - what we do, where we go, what we read and how we socialise. In that description of course the food we eat falls within the socialising, but how is it we've allowed the true meaning of the word to be lost?  Because we have become used to the word describing the food we've GOT to eat and GOT to go without, we begin to think that we're never going to lose weight. We begin to think that w...