rose in bloom - But what could I do to improve the way I looked?
First of all my wardrobe ...
Now that I was no longer tied to preconceived ideas of what I should eat, what I shouldn't eat, how I should dress, and what I should or shouldn't wear, I decided to try out some new ideas.
I gathered all my courage, and visited a Colour Consultant. You may know them by many names, but they are women trained to advise you on the most attractive colours you can wear. Colours which compliment your colouring and your features. This includes makeup, and the colour of your hair as well as clothes. Following my visit I was so hyped up with the excitement of seeing just what effect colours had on my moods, my feelings, and my looks, that I started experimenting immediately. I'm still experimenting, every day.
As a fat person, I'd always been led to believe that I should only wear black (or navy blue, or chocolate brown or even beige). It had to be a colour that was considered “safe” and “slimming”. Don't believe people who tell you this, because it just isn't true. If your complexion, and your hair colour is not suited to black or navy or brown or beige, then nothing, absolutely nothing, that you do will make them compatible. It's impossible. How many clothes do you have in your wardrobe that looked good in the store, and are the colours you've been told by people that you should wear? By people I mean those who don’t understand the importance of the “right” colours for you. Yet those garments which they’ve told you look really good, when you take them out of the wardrobe and put them on, you either feel wrong, or you don't see yourself as you would like to. Your face looks too pale or too rosy red, your hair looks lank (and it's not). You feel dowdy, you assume yet again that it’s all your fault. It’s not you that’s at fault - its the garment that is wrong for you.
Follow this experiment. Take a good look at some of the female television newsreaders and presenters and see how they dress and in what colour schemes. Look at their hair and makeup. Strangely enough you’re often see one who looks as though she has dressed in a hurry, in the wrong colours, and her hair needs attention - yet you’ll see her on another night and you’ll wonder why you thought she didn’t look that way the night before. Take note of colours and styles and designs of clothes and you’ll learn a lot to be put into practice for yourself.
As far as your own wardrobe is concerned, and you find garments that don’t suit you, the only thing you can do is to throw those garments out. Or give them to someone who will appreciate them. Better still get together with some friends and do some bartering or swopping. Have a special “Girls Night In”; hang up your garments if possible or stack them on a table and let everyone have fun in trying them on. A couple of plates of nibbles, a bottle of champagne, and you’ve successfully turned a disadvantage into an advantage; a great party! Especially if you’re able to find something that fits and looks good on YOU, even an accessory. It’s not a matter of making money out of the evening, it’s a time to relieve yourself of those clothes that don’t fit, don’t look good on you, and take up precious space in your wardrobe. The colours of the garments that you put out may be to your friends’ advantage, you never know.
Don't keep things in your wardrobe that you won't wear from one year to the next, telling yourself “just in case I lose weight”, or “maybe next year I’ll be able to wear that terrible colour!” Because quite often you'll not even be aware of why those garments look wrong on you. It may come down to colour, it may come down to fabric or sometimes just the design.
With that said however, I know many of you will shake your head and say, “but I can't afford to throw these out.” I quite agree with what you're saying. But think about it logically - they're there sitting in your wardrobe, taking up space. Do you wear them? No. Then why are you keeping them? Do you think if you lose weight they're going to look good on you, when you already know they're wrong for you? Everyone who has lost weight will agree we change shape each time we lose weight. Sounds silly? Yet it's true. Take a step back - look at the whole picture with an open mind and then ask yourself whether by having these clothes sitting in the wardrobe they are valuable to you. If not, then take them out, shake them out, and get/give them out!
I was told I should never wear white. I didn't. Not until I was in my late 40's, and when I did I almost did a “double-take” when people stopped me in the street with compliments. Men and women came up to me with “how well you look.” “Wow, what have you done with yourself?” They even asked had I lost weight? Oh, that was the best of all, because I hadn’t lost a microgram! I hadn't done anything that was different from when they have seen me previously (sometimes even the same day!) I’d merely worn something white! My size hadn't changed, but my attitude had, and all because of a colour (or non-colour as they would have us believe!) I felt “different”, I felt great! I even walked taller.
My wardrobe includes black (because I know now that this is a basic colour which really suits me), and bright and feisty colours such as pink, mauve, purple, hot pink, ice blue, white, silver and so on. From someone who would only wear large cumbersome shapeless voluminous “tents”, I've ventured into jeans and moleskins and long denim and formal skirts. I love wearing slacks (now called pants!!) because they’re comfortable and just right for driving. Shorts for summer; sarongs for anytime of the year. Loose, flowing, floating garments. Semi fitted garments. Long jackets, low necklines, shoulder pads. Chiffons, satins, laces, lurex, faux fur, sequins.
I believe clothes are not merely something to cover our bodies.
I believe they are to be as much a part of us, as our own personalities.
Try out my suggestion. Put on something that is maybe old and comfortable (only because it hides those bits and pieces of your body that you like to hide), but which you now feel is drab and doesn't make you feel attractive. Don't bother to put any shoes on. Just stand in front of your mirror and look at your reflection. How do you feel about yourself? You may find, as I often do, that you even slouch because that's how you feel about yourself in that particular garment, even if it is “comfortable”.
Now put on something which is new and in the right colour - put on some small heeled shoes, Add a brooch or a scarf, toss a pashmina around your neck and shoulders, add a necklet even pearls and ask yourself, “what do I see now?” Bet you $1000 that you'll like what you see, and something inside of you feels good and happy about that reflection. Don't be surprised if you find you're even standing taller, as well as feeling good about yourself. Do this little exercise often - because the more often you do it, the more often you'll feel good about yourself! After all, isn't this the main aim of setting in motion a new plan for a new you, without cosmetic surgery and without waiting until “I lose weight!”
* Read the special Supplement towards the end of this "Rose in Bloom" booklet that I have prepared over time and which has become widely accepted as a smart and clever Basic Classic Wardrobe that will suit you and your life-style as a curvaceous woman. Planning and putting these ideas into practice will make your friends become envious of your knowledge and confidence. Especially those who may be slim and trim.
My objective?
To transform what I could!
What I gained!
A building up of knowledge as to what does suit me and being able to use that knowledge with confidence
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