SERENDIPITY SANCTUARY

rose in bloom - What about my Face?  My Hair?    Well, I chose a day when I felt a little less stressed and insecure than normal, and visited a counter at one of the leading departmental stores, and asked to have a makeover. Certainly, madam. With your complexion we can do a lot for you. Gee, thanks. I know it will cost money, but I'm looking at this as a start of a journey.  My face hasn't changed shape. It's still round and plump. It's still the same as it has been for a number of years, with the slight exception that its got a few more wrinkles, and of course the skin has lost a lot of its elasticity, and there are some little things which need hiding. But these girls are supposed to be trained in these things, and perhaps I'll learn something I can put into practice for myself.  First cleansing. Gee, that feels great. Then a little moisturiser. Wonderful. Now sit back and allow us to give you the treatment. What we suggest is ................. She dabs ...

First of all my wardrobe ...  Now that I was no longer tied to preconceived ideas of what I should eat, what I shouldn't eat, how I should dress, and what I should or shouldn't wear, I decided to try out some new ideas.  I gathered all my courage, and visited a Colour Consultant. You may know them by many names, but they are women trained to advise you on the most attractive colours you can wear.   Colours which compliment your colouring and your features.  This includes makeup, and the colour of your hair as well as clothes. Following my visit I was so hyped up with the excitement of seeing just what effect colours had on my moods, my feelings, and my looks, that I started experimenting immediately.   I'm still experimenting, every day.  As a fat person, I'd always been led to believe that I should only wear black (or navy blue, or chocolate brown or even beige). It had to be a colour that was considered “safe” and “slimming ”. Don't believe people w...

I've chosen to now disregard entirely the word “diet”!  It's a negative word, and it's a word that conjures up all sorts of horrendous “go-withouts!” It's a word that shouldn't be used to, or about, fat people. There are many other words to describe healthy eating habits in a far nicer and less rigid way, and we should insist the word “diet” as such be removed from our vocabulary. It's a word which gives a “defeatist” meaning.  Anyway, the word “diet” does not in reality mean a list of foods that restricts our eating. It means the life-style we live - what we do, where we go, what we read and how we socialise. In that description of course the food we eat falls within the socialising, but how is it we've allowed the true meaning of the word to be lost?  Because we have become used to the word describing the food we've GOT to eat and GOT to go without, we begin to think that we're never going to lose weight. We begin to think that w...

What did I do next?  I threw out all the “diet” books. Yes, every last one of them. I'm serious. This gave me a lot of pleasure. I didn't take time to go through them just in case I thought I really wanted or needed to keep one or two. Out, out, out, the whole lot of them. In some funny way, doing that opened up a lot of other doors of appreciation.  I found I could now read “typical” or everyday Recipe Books  ( not diet books) through different eyes.  Curiously I began to collect a small selection of cookery books, written by well-known cooks and chefs from right around the world, that contained recipes which appealed to me and some that I knew I considered to be “comfort food”.    I indulged in cookery books from the local newsagents, the local bookshops. I began to really think seriously about food, and how my body and my tastebuds reacted to those foods.  I began to create my own lists of favourites. Without the restriction of “good” ...

What did I do first?  I threw out the bathroom scales.  Honestly, I did.  I'm not joking. I've come to the conclusion that a weighing machine can do more harm than good; it’s not in your own attitude towards yourself, it’s in the attitude of those darn scales.   If you need to be weighed, then do it at your doctor’s or pharmacist’s rooms. The bathroom scales in my bathroom always gave me an inaccurate reading anyway, and no matter how “positive” I was before stepping on them, I invariably felt miserable immediately I stepped off them. What really do they achieve? They merely tell you that you are a certain weight - which means what? If you're not healthy at the weight you presently are, then that's another matter between you and your doctor. Never subject yourself to self recriminations or accept the constant harassment from a very unfriendly appliance such as bathroom scales - they'll never encourage you or inspire you in any way. They're not mad...

My fantastic, fabulous metamorphosis!  The day I truly understood I was a WOMAN first and foremost dawned bright and beautiful. Not unlike many other days. The big difference was that on this day an overwhelming and inner awareness came upon me that I was a woman; a feminine, female woman.   Not a “fat” woman but a wholesome, flesh and blood, real-life woman.  The fact I was a big woman was merely that; my size had and has nothing to do with the essence of my womanhood or my sensuality.   Can I please repeat that again.   Because I feel it’s important for all of us to take this in.  The fact we are big women is merely that: our size had and has absolutely nothing to do with the essence of our womanhood or our sensuality.    It was a special day for me. I sat and allowed the inexplicable awareness of “knowing” t o embrace my every fibre. I felt like I’d never felt before. Here I was a fifty year old at long last  “understanding” ...

Going to the doctor! As well as specialists and other so-called “professionals”  Tell me please, why is it when a fat woman goes to the doctor she often comes out feeling worse, worse, worse then when she went in? I think I've figured it out. It's all because many doctors and health professionals don't know how to really look and find the woman inside the fat outer covering, but only see someone who is bigger than they think she should be.  I've visited doctors and specialists who have literally snarled at me. Told me not to bother coming back. Told me they could do nothing for me until I did something for myself. Told me unless I lost weight I would be refused treatment at both their surgery and the local hospital. Were they only trying to help me by frightening me? They certainly frightened me - they scared the living daylights out of me, but they didn't help me!  An ingrown toenail is caused because you're overweight! Pimples are caused because y...